A familiar story with questions. III

[SteveLW]

RR17,

I wish I had some advice for you but I don’t as I feel as if I am in the same place. W has ended A and D and is acting nicer sometimes but there is no remorse. We are roommates and coparerents. Re reading sandi’s comments about R was amazing. She hasn’t really done any of those things. I don’t know what to do from here but am searching for similar threads for some insight. Thank you for sharing.

I think sandi would tell you (don't want to speak for her but) that until she does this hard work she may be just loooking for Plan A or her next OM. WWs rarely just give up their conquest completely until they hit the remorse stage. Some do that before D, some during D, some after D (and sometimes many years after D). They almost all end up there eventually, but sometimes too late for them. Read MWD's first chapter of DB. You will read of a couple of WSs/WASs that had regrets, big regrets, maybe too late.

I too am in that boat. W is showing positive changes, but I can't trust it because I haven't seen sandi's list in action yet. (And sandi herself told me flat out that my WW is still looking for Plan A.)