This is great! Your boundaries are really resonable regarding that woman at work. And your husband is showing that he respects them. Which is good.
Why is it that you do not want to talk to him about his work? I think it was nice of him to want to communicate and share with you, but it seems that you shut him down?
He seems to be willing to compromise for you. What are some changes you can make to meet his needs better? He is on the defensive but why? What would his valid complaints about you be?
Obviously your marriage is vulnerable right now. What can you do on your end?
