Yes M and I are still an "item." We see each other a few times a week and speak every day. He's moved here to the area full time now.
His divorce is also out of state, and he's been sep 4 years (and attended divorce care at least 2 years ago b/c our facilitator told me.) HIS divorce is still pending and should finalize in April.
Normally I'd have thought I'd never date someone who wasn't legally divorced,
but I was wrong. A 4 year separation physical and marital, convinced me that it was safe and with no chance of me being an OW.
Obviously there was a ton of inertia on both sides...(just fyi, he filed months before we met. I'm not being defensive, just saying this b/c NONE of us wants to be an affair partner. Or a factor in a divorce, at all. )
In fact, a man asked me out about 6 weeks ago and he said he was separated but he's in the same house and nothing has been filed. To me, that's "still married". Or worse, he's just a liar...
M and I get along quite well. He spent time and energy planning Valentine's Day and it was refreshing to me to see EFFORT on my partner's part, that it was very touching.
M is very intelligent and quite the engineer, but it can mean he takes things too literally and forgets to let himself go with laughing. This matters to me b/c as we age, the ability to laugh will only grow with time, as other things may fade in importance.
i want passion & chemistry and I had a lot of it in my m. (So, I realize that it can help mask problems. It may not be so crucial in the long run.)
But HUMOR - If a man makes me laugh, that's at least 3 points on a scale of 10. Maybe 4.
If he gets my jokes and laughs at those jokes and with me, that's a solid 2-3 and if we can just laugh at the same things, then that's 2+. Part of this is just "getting me".
H got me, when it came to humor, and we laughed hard as heck, often. I know he thought I was hilarious (and I am). So There are moments I wonder "gosh, I KNOW H thinks I'm hilarious but does he even let himself go there in his head to remember that, or is he so wrapped up in being right that he's furious at ME??"
And then I slap myself back into reality and say "not my concern". That's when I say that prayer about giving up "the need to know why, as we will never know why...and that "endless questioning is endless suffering"...
Anyhow, re M, you know what? M's not proposing marriage at the moment. So he's not really something I have to worry about at the moment.
IF we are simply 2 people who comforted and guided each other through a terribly difficult time in our lives, and IF we don't rush into things b/c we are hurting so much, but simply appreciate having the other for this "plane crash" time in our lives,
I'm very okay with that. And I think he is too.
But we act like a couple. Not sure how else to say that.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
