With all the respect vanilla but I am taking care of myself and I’m absolutely aware that the only I can control is myself. I’m facing the dilemma of a wife that is telling me, her family and our therapist that she wants to work on the marriage and saving the marriage but she’s absolutely disconnected and checked out of the marriage with the exact same attitude and blocking my access to my time to GAL because I must take care of the kid. Unfortunately not all have the budget to afford babysitting so I can have some kind of life. And I am doing my internal work hence I’m here on this website. I don’t know what she needs to do, but I know what I need to do and is searching for insight. I’m really sorry if you had a bad experience and I recognize that when everything was boiling with my wife I said very harsh things that I’m ashamed of, and it takes courage to recognize a mistake like that. The fact that I’m a man doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings or I don’t feel neglected, financially cheated. I’m not justifying saying harsh stuff but I guess we all have emotions and sometimes we have no control over it and PTSD makes this very challenging. I am working a lot on this and the therapy was very constructive because I was able to listen and she was able to listen. And I explained her that I love her but she needs to commit to do her Part because I cannot continue living in limbo. I need peace, I am committed. It’s still long road ahead recovery but at least I was able to get on the same page.
