I am not familiar with your sitch, so I'm making these suggestions having no idea what your current status actually is, but based on your last post, I'm assuming in house S.
Because this is her second episode, I personally wouldn't reconcile until I knew she understood the gravity of her actions and I was sure that she was 100% in. actually, I wouldn't take her back period, but I also understand the desire save ones marriage, so I wouldn't fault anyone for trying again.
My recommendation would be to continue with your GAL, she doesn't just get to have you back because she decided, and I wouldn't hide the fact that your ok with not getting back together. I would tell her that you don't think you can trust that she won't do this again in the future, and you are not sure that you can trust her.
Let her sweat it out. Live your own life and don't invite her into it. One of three things will eventually happen, either you will decide to end the M, she will end the M on her own, or she will repent for what she has done and her actions will show that she is willing to do anything to be with you.
Although an in-house S is not official, you are correct.
Her increase of courtesy, respect and overall niceness is confusing. Perhaps she is test driving some sort of future friendship. IDK
As for your suggestions? That is my plan.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
