I had a great weekend and a smile on my face throughout and enjoyable time with my kids. It was great until w started criticizing me tonight. Interesting how you DNJ said it’s good to let her vent. I did that but I was a deer in the headlights. I didn’t know what to say. She was bringing up old issues which we have already discussed and for which I have already apologized. There were some minutes of awkward silence. I am thinking: How many times must I apologize? Why does she only see what I did wrong and she finds herself blameless? Then I used my primitive validating skills and that made things better.
It's good that you recognized it in the heat of it...
It's also pretty normal and a pretty good sign that she is still in there.
Anger is an emotion, much like love.
Without love, there is indifference...
With indifference, she wouldn't have wasted her time...
What she is, where she has been, where she is headed to...
The anger that she is feeling is good. It means that at least she is feeling something. Years of anger and frustration will come out of her before she finally gets to the bottom of herself...
One of the reasons that validating is so important...
Let it come out, recognize what it is, and own YOUR truth in it...
Originally Posted By: Gordie
Digging deeper. Of what am I afraid? I remember reading something that defines a perfectionist as someone who does not desire to be perfect, but someone who desires to be beyond criticism. It’s actually an insecurity and that’s me. Of what am I insecure? On the outside, I am smart and good looking and professionally successful. But on the inside, there is still an insecure person. An abandoned child. A neglected child. I think it’s one of the reasons why words of affirmation are so important to me. At work, I get tons of positive affirmation. At home, I get tons of criticism.
The weak part of me says give up! Run away! The strong part of me says I am going to keep learning and growing from all of this. God has a plan. I just don’t know what it is yet.
Maybe his plan, is what has been happening around you the past couple years.....
???
Think about it...
He has given you the perfect situation, to fix yourself...
