Well here I am. Tomorrow couples counseling and wedding anniversary on Wednesday. Today we had a meltdown after a good weekend that ended in me explaining her on a polite way that would like to have the weekends for myself so if she could accommodate her schedule because now she works every second Sunday or Saturday and I basically got told that I can’t and I only can after she’s home that is 8 pm, and during the day I can’t because I get home at 4 and I have to take care of my kid and cook supper for all of us. I always help with the chores and almost every weekend I do laundry. I guess I Was just requesting time for myself and everything ended becoming a rant on text messages about unhappiness and I ended telling her that l am tired of feeling rejected, unattractive and the intimacy still the same. I basically have become a chore for Saturday morning before even waking up and that’s about it. The rest of days everything hurts every night or she is too tired. I tried to be as polite as I could but her defensiveness is a huge barrier between her and me. I mean I was just talking about time for myself because I don’t do anything else more than work, take care of the kid and supper and lunches. She keeps saying that she’s trying hard when all she does is cooking on weekends and she’s not going to bars even though she’s still drinking every weekend at home. I tried to express my concerns on the best way possible and it seems like all she wants is that I take it in silence because “we’re moving on” I guess I couldn’t take it anymore and I told her everything on how she’s been acting and that I’m tired of feeling I’m a chore. I’m tired of feeling avoided. I have done my best and everything is the same. I been checking on the phone bills and there’s a couple frequent numbers that call her often and surprisingly they are not on her contacts. Also now she’s visiting a friend very often when she told me once that they were no longer friends. I mean things are very ugly and I’m starting to give up hope. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this. And I don’t want to waste my life sad and bitter for my sons sake. I honestly don’t know what to do or how to understand anything about fixing a marriage
