I do not feel in the position to give some advice to others. But I can tell you that for the first time I stayed cool, calm and controlled instead of forcing my H into an R talk. It feels so good not to be dominated by biological emotions any more. What made such development happen? Looking really deeeeeeep into LRT, 180, pursuer-distancer. So deep that you do not only understand these concepts as rational appeals, but that you start feeling the meaning. Still, I am not yet fully detached. I feel a lot of pain if I think of all the lost time I would rather enjoy with my H than dealing with the current sitch on the brink of divorce. But I think pain is ok as long as you don't panic but feel enough calm inside yourself at the same time.
