A familiar story with questions. III

[Coconut]

Someone posted awhile ago about things his wife told him after they reconciled and started piecing. What caught my attention about that post was the role reversal the two of them experienced during the process.

Initially, after BD she had him (her safety net) at home, wanting nothing more than to have her come back to him, and all the while she was going out with OM, partying it up, and had nothing to worry about because if her fantasy world fell apart she knew she had another man (H) waiting at home for her.

after about two years of focusing only on her, he finally had enough and started to get a life, started working out, making new friends, picked up sports, etc. He filled his life with things he wanted, put his focus on him and stopped focusing on what WW was doing. He was no longer a safety net for WW.

At some point during his journey to being a man only a fool would ever leave, WW's life started falling apart, she lost OM, no longer had husband, but was to prideful to let H know. She wasn't hanging out with friends, wasn't having fun, and was watching the man that wasn't good enough for her become too good for her. She even started going to movies alone just so that she wasn't at home all the time, trying to make H wonder where she was and what she was doing, etc. But he was no longer paying her any mind; while all her focus was on him (role reversal from beginning of sitch). Eventually she broke down, begged for his forgiveness and for reconciliation.

I tell you that story to demonstrate that she experienced loss, but it wasn't the loss of a single thing and the loss didn't occur in one day. She lost OM (but that didn't cause her to return to H), she lost H's attention, she knew she was going to lose H, it was a long process for her to experience enough loss to humbly return to husband and ask for forgiveness and be willing to do what ever it took to try again.