The date for the decree to be signed has been pushed back again. Now it's next Friday the 16th. Funny how XW was so eager to get this D and now she "seems" to be dragging her feet.
I saw XW on Thursday at S11's orchestra event. I spent about 30 minutes in her presence, which is the longest since she moved out back in December. Things went ok but were rather cold. She looked different. She even asked me if I noticed her new haircut, and I actually hadn't. She told me bye at the end.
Had a rough emotional moment this weekend, the first one in a long time. I think the D is finally catching up to me. But JoeJoe helped me through (thanks!) and I got on with my day, cutting the grass and cleaning out the garage. Then on Sunday I had a really good workout at the gym.
The first few moments after the kids leave always feel empty. I have to mentally change gears from dad mode to single guy mode. I feel bad for the poor guys. They're dealing with things ok I think, but I don't talk about XW when they're with me so I don't know how things are going over there when they're with her. It's like a parallel reality that I'm not involved in. I do wonder when they might be introduced to someone new in her life. Nothing I can do about that but get busy myself.
My weeks are filling up with things to do, and I usually don't spend much time at home by myself. Sometimes I can't even fit everything in during the week, which is a good problem to have.
I had a dream last night about meeting someone new and having this amazing kiss. I think my subconscious is telling me it's time to move on. My D has been granted, and I need to stop making excuses and start living my life.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
