I have just done so good at not basing my well being on her actions or our interactions.

When you have a spouse that has never been any good at communications you learn to rely on "temp taking". More so than in an M/R were both are better at expressing themselves. 20 years of mindreading is difficult to discontinue.

That said I don't have to be emotionally attached to her "temp".

As I conduct my autopsy on the last several day's derailments, and yes I feel like I go derailed, I realize that the threat that there could be an OM is my kryptonite.

Looking for advice?

M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.