Hi everyone. A little background on me and my sitch.
I was a poster here 3 years ago. W and I R after 8 months of S, and bought a house together. While we were S, I read DB, did IC, lots of GAL and had a genuine shift in my views and the way I handled daily interactions with W.
My W has been a heavy and daily drinker for the last 5 years. After we R, I noticed that her drinking was increasing and would dodge bullets daily to try and stay out of the line of fire. 4 months after R, I begged her to go to rehab because I was genuinely worried about her health. She said she would go, but never did, and later stated that she did not have a problem and that I just needed to deal with her drinking.
Fast forward to 2018. BD was after the beginning of the year. She stated that she wanted a D and wanted to sell our home. We are still living under the same roof, only communicating when she initiates. About once a week, she will drink heavily with her friends and then wants to initiate a talk, which ends up being a 3 hour rage from her about all I've done wrong in the 11 years that we have been together. I validate when I can, and listen the rest of the time. There is a lot of history re-written during these times.
I have suggested MC, but have been told no, that she will never go see a counselor. So, I find myself here again, reading the forums and all of the other posts, trying to get some clarity on the situation that I once again have found myself in.
My MIL/FIL are living here temporarily. Our last S was due to my MIL giving her an ultimatum. She has once again convinced my W that a D is in order.
We argue mostly about the daily heavy drinking, and my W says that is her main reason for wanting a D. Her and her family do not think that she has a problem, and my MIL tells her that I am controlling when I want her to moderate her drinking so that she doesn't treat me badly when she drinks too much. She says that she is unhappy and knows that we will never be able to fix our M.
