One reason for the spread of stds among the over 50 crowd is not using condoms. Some are newly single after a long marriage and may never have used condoms in the pre-AIDS era when they were younger. Men who are suffering from some mild erectile dysfunction may have difficulty maintaining an erection with a condom or difficulty climaxing. Plus if you were married for many years having sex without condoms, I think it's harder to get used to using them again.
All that being said - there's no excuse for not using condoms. We need to protect ourselves. And you never know - I'm really thankful that I always used conforms with Me. Tall Dark and handsome. Just about the time I started thinking maybe we could stop using them, he was diagnosed with hepatitis C. (Risk of transmission to partners is low but not zero). Then I learned when he blew up (bipolar mania/ drug relapse) that he had been sleeping with other women most of the time we had been together! Now I'm sure glad I was such a stickler about condoms.
As a couple of younger girlfriends advised me when I was first single: "No glove, no love!"
(As for your ex's herpes - it is very common. Something like 20% of women and 12% of men. Some are completely a symptomatic but can still shed the virus 10% of the time. The good news, if there is some, is that outbreaks tend to lessen in frequency after the first year for most people. )
