Really you shouldn’t know about any vacation discussions because you found out about it by rifling through the trash. Would someone who is being more alpha rifle through the trash to find out information about his wife?
It’s really not your place in any circumstance to tell her that she can or cannot go on a vacation right? You can tell her you can’t afford to give her money for it if she asks, but if she somehow has the money that’s her business right?
If you then seek to punish her by taking away something you’ve been doing forever like making student loan payments she’s probably going to resent being treated that way.
If you need to have a budget discussion with her about how each of you contribute to loans, credit cards, and groceries you should — but it should not be as retribution for planning to take a vacation with a friend.
I think you need to wait for her to mention it before you say or do anything. If you then seek to force her to stay home she is going to resent you for that right?
Let’s say she goes on a vacation with OM and you hire a PI who gets pictures and undeniable proof. What would you do or say then?
Think a move ahead, consider what *you* want and what your boundaries are. You can’t control her, she’s going to find a way to do whatever she wants. So what will you do? You can only control what you will do.
Acc
Very well said. I like what you said about being an Alpha. And how that should drive your behavior. I'll need to remember that when I would be tempted to snoop on my wife. That is not what an Alpha does.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
