I'm sorry but no one who says they wish their child wasn't born is a good person, I don't care WHAT the circumstances are. No good parent says those things under any circumstances, and the rest of his negligent parenting supports that.
As for fabulous life Nicole - it'll come when you let go and embrace change. You need to make a vision board - get poster board, and make a collage on it of all your wildest dreams. Put it where you see it every day. You'll be shocked in a few years to see how much has come true.
