Thanks, V... I totally understand all that you said in that last post. I do have one question though. What do you exactly mean by documenting “this”. What specifically? And how would you word it?....
Also... I’m glad I got NMMNG. I’m about half way through and it has helped a lot. I was doing a lot of those things and not realizing it or why I was doing it. Specifically tonight. I’m out of town for work, and W sent me a text asking if she could stay at the house tonight. I told her it was locked. She asked if she could get the key from the kids after school tomorrow and stay then. I just responded with “No”. At first I wanted to tell her she could because the old me wanted to please her and thought that if I did nice things, she would notice and reciprocate. But I realized that was just a covert contract, and I would be doing it just in hopes of getting something in return and it was not what I wanted. So I just said no. She responded with “K. Thanks” and I left it at that. I’m learning that my needs are important and I need to be true to myself. And doing things for other people hoping to get something in return is kind of manipulating and controlling. I never realized it before. I always thought I was doing something nice because I cared, but deep down, I had expectations...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
