here's the list with 10 issues he is blaming me for.
1. I use him as a free resource to implement my projects (for example some new installation in the house). I approach him like I would have him at my disposal. 2. I am not open about my goals. Instead I use a salami technique doing small steps to reach my goals. This makes him feel manipulated. 3. He hates the way I give him feedback. However soft I do so, he feels criticized and disrespected. For example, he likes cooking, but he is not very experienced and ignores any advice. In case he spoils a meal and I politely tell him what he could have done better, we end up arguing. 4. I do not prioritize problems. However small the problem, I switch on the emergency mode and expect him to do so, too. If the water tap drips, I behave as if the basement would be overflooded. So I should better not use the word problem when communicating with him. 5. I expect him to fulfill a gentleman role that he neither wants to nor is able to fulfill. I have too many and large expectations regarding gifts, attention, caresses, compliments, romantic events. He thinks that such expectations don't fit to a relationship where both are on a par. 6. On the other hand, I do not really care about his needs. 7. I am too emotional, too impulsive, too aggressive, too anxious, too furious, simply too much and that distresses him. 8. In particular, in case we are arguing I am too disrespectful, abusive, aggressive. 9. I want to have every issue clarified at once and immediately. I cannot bear and defer open issues and open conflicts. I stress him out by purpose in order to reach my goals. 10. I want to control everybody and everything, especially him.
I have alread worked on a lot of issues and improved things. But it isn't enough. And he ignores my improvements. He says there had been too many negative moments and he remembers all the negative feelings he experienced if similar moments happen today, irrespective of my actual behavior.
