This is call MLC and it's mass confusion and mixed signals. That's why it is very important to step back, detach lovingly and try not to over analyze their every word and move. One minute she's all lovey dovey to you and the next she's talking about doing something different. She's bouncing off the walls.

You really do need to step way, way back and allow her to founder in the ocean of confusion and find her way back to the real world. You can't help her because you didn't break her. Keep the focus on you and your family. She needs to do this on her own. You are still trying to look at her as your "old wife" and this woman is someone very different from the one you knew.

Step back! The more you try to talk to her about the situation, the more she'll like the idea of divorce.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.