Hello Skyhigh.......good to hear from you my friend
I appreciate you asking me all the questions.
As far as him communicating with other women........I do know that he has several women friends that he does share information with. I get the "we are just friends" comment about those relationships. I have asked him not to share things about our relationship, but as we all know I do not have any control over any of that.
In regard to finances......he has made a small dent in his credit card bills. He is also not spending money like he used to do. When I moved in I asked him about me contributing to the rent and bills and he refused my offer. He said "have you ever thought that maybe I would like to take care of you." I was not surprised by that comment because is very prideful, and I know before BD I took care of the majority of the financial responsibilities and that was difficult for him.
I do contribute by paying for the groceries, any bills concerning the dogs, and if we do go out to dinner or a movie I typically pay for that.
As far as him being manipulative, and playing the victim role.....I totally agree. I feel like he still has some major control issues. He wants to change, and he knows he needs to, but is still concerned about people judging him. There is not much I can say or do to change how he feels abut how people are judging him. That is an insecurity that he has to work through.
He knows it would make me sad if things did not work out in our M, but he also knows that I am not willing to sacrifice my happiness in order to make him happy all the time, and I know that he wants me to be happy too. I am a different person.......2 years will do that for you.
Not sure if he initially understood what it would really take for us to make things work, but he says he is not going anywhere. He told me yesterday that when he asked me to move in with him that he was willing to do what it takes, and did not put a time line on it. I don't know if this is piecing or not, but I know this is HARD!!!
Sometimes I do feel like if I was living on my own then he would be making more of an effort because then I would not be so easily accessible to him. But I will say that I am concerned that if he ends up being alone that he will fall back into the rabbit hole. But then again.....that is not for me to control.
He asked me yesterday what I thought about wearing our wedding ring again? I have not worn it in so long that I don't really know how I feel about that. I also don't want to wear it just to show someone that I am married, when in reality the marriage is not very strong.
