Another topic. I dived into very interesting books on pursuer distancer patterns and LRT. It makes such a difference whether you have only understood the concepts or whether you start feeling what it is about. What I am struggling with is when my H is unfairly blaming me. For exampe he is telling me about job issues and in parallel I am busy with the children. If I tell him that I cannot focus on both he says that I wouldn't be interested in what he is saying. If I don't tell anything and try to listen he says the same. Another example if he is in bad mood and he treats like if I would be against him like his boss. I have to say that my H is a very fair and balanced person. Only with me, he makes an exception. It is as if he declared me his enemy in order to justify his decision to end the relationship and the marriage. I know that nothing helps against this view of him. It's simply fruitless if I would start justifying or discussing. So I try to get away from such sitch, even if this is hard if you share a common family life. Still, I do not feel well about that. How should my H ever start rethinking our situation and his decision if he has declared me his enemy to be blamed for any bad feelings he has? Sure, I should detach and not care about him for the time being. On the other hand, reading the books I mentioned I've realized that it helps me if I understand better what is going on.
