So, W just answered and she feels that phone transparency is controlling. She says she understands why I ask for it but it feels bad for her - she has always felt very negative against controlling, partly due to childhood issues (she still is controlling herself). I replied her that this is important boundary to me and why (pretty obvious since chatting with OM and who knows what). She added that shouldn’t the trust be build by will to trust and commitment and not controlling. I replied that definitely won’t be build over controlling but openness and phone transparency is a way to demonstrate that. But! I myself am highly against controlling as well and frankly don’t like to snoop anyone’s phone, rather trust. However I think she has lost her luxury to protected phone after Lyon that much. I have never in 15years asked her to show her phone before, but I’m quite certain that OM will connect even if we start piecing - or other way around. So having openness over phone would be important.
What does the board think, should I compromise on this boundary or not?
My current communication is that I insist phone transparency if we start peacing until we feel comfortable in emotional level and intimacy.
