Meg, that was a huge backslide. You've gotten some golden advice in this thread, but Accuray's is a home run. It's the perfect synopsis of what we're all trying to tell you. Please stop this "more of the same" behavior and get on board with DB'ing, it'll help you first and eventually your M. My spidey sense says your M has a very strong chance of recon, but it has got to be on YOUR terms and after he has lost you and hit rock bottom. Take Accuray's post and copy it onto your phone, or print it out and keep it in your purse or pocket or whatever so you can read it several times a day. You can't nice your H back. You can't fix his problems for him. You can't snap your fingers and have your old H back. You can't temp check him back. Time and space are your friends and your weapons. Use them in abundance.
I agree, it was a HUGE backslide for me. H just has a way of roping me in without doing or saying much of anything. And he's really good at making me feel like I did everything horribly wrong, even as he says I didn't.
I don't know if he really believes that he's confused, or if he still believes that I'm to blame. But last night was bad. I wasn't the usual emotional mess as normal, for the most part I kept my composure. But I think that he feels that me backing off, as I have been before last night, that I'm done. I don't know.
My mantra, "Believe nothing he says and only half of what he does."
Me-44,H-44 S21,S19,S17,D13 M-22,T-29 (off and on prior to M) BD:12-20-17 (H said he had things to work out in his head) H moved out:3-4-18
