New LBS, not sure if he's having LMC

[meg24]

So once again, I get an "F" in DB. Went to dinner last night with both my sisters-in-law. Didn't tell H in advance, he wasn't even home when I left. I did text him to let him know that everyone, kids included, were on the own for dinner. I do that whenever it's leftover night and I don't want to cook, se he can decide if he wants to stop for something on the way home.

Anyway, his response back, "it seems like I'm always on my own lately, but thanks for the heads up". I shouldn't have taken the bait, but I wasn't going to let him do the "always" thing. I went back through all my texts to him last 2 months, and only 4 texts that say leftovers or on your own. I responded that once a week, maybe twice sometimes, is not "always", and it's not just him.

So anyway, dinner with sisters went well, until special needs s21 calls asking about dad moving out, he's got boxes. We haven't outright told him what's going on, mentally he's about 8, on a good day, and he grabs a hold of one thing and focuses on it and nothing else. We decided to just let him experience day to day changes. He's pretty smart, he knows something is going on. I told him to breathe, and dad is going to stay with a friend for a while but he will see him on weekends.

Got home from dinner, H still awake watching TV in bed. He probably wasn't watching (was on a channel/program he NEVER watches), he was probably just waiting for me, stewing in his own anger/confusion. As I climbed into bed I asked what his timeline was for moving, so I can mentally prepare myself, as I don't think I can handle it. He said he'll start this weekend, but it seems like I'm handling everything pretty well. We went round and round, he said he will go back to sleeping in his trailer, he doesn't know why he's in the house. I stood up for myself, said you told me where you're at, to focus on myself, and I can't do both. Round and round, he said I'm right, he can't have his cake and eat it too. He's confused right now, he doesn't know what he feels.

Round and round. We get around to the ILYBNILWY. I boldly said that the in love feeling is the beginning high that doesn't last, everyone pretty much knows that, but it turns in to deeper love, the love he keeps telling me he has for me (but not in love with me). He says no, In love should last forever.

Round and round. We get around to H saying I have given him everything, but he feels like something is missing, someone out there that can give him what he wants, he mentions again that he thinks it's MLC. I agreed. I then said, finally (I've been holding it back), how is it we were finally getting to the point where the kids are growing, we can focus more on each other, why he is doing this now. He said he doesn't know. I told him he needs to talk to IC, he said maybe. I told him I hope he finds peace in himself.

This morning as alarms started to go off, snooze buttons pushed, he rolled over to me and pulled me to him and put his arm around me. He hasn't done that since early-mid December. I'm not even taking that gesture as a bread crumb, just him feeling guilty.

Believe none of what he says and only half of what he does.