I read once in a book that husbands want to see their wives needs fulfilled. They want to give them what they desire. They just don't know how and you have to teach them.
Yes, I wanted my XW's needs fulfilled.
But, I do not think it was her job to teach me step-by-step how to fill them. Frankly, I wasnt in a position where I felt I needed help in listening/responding/supporting/etc. No matter what she said, I wasnt going to be able to do/be what she needed. It took until the action of her wanting to leave that I actually took a look to consider my part in the degradation of our marriage. It was on me to understand that I needed help and education and to figure out where to get that - not on my XW.
My point to the original post was that it was never a case of me choosing to not listen (like the nodding boss), it was more that I didnt have the skills or drive to actually implement the changes.
