So another update, My W told me yesterday that she wants a D and although we are still under the same roof, I have been sleeping downstairs. I spoke with her to clarify some boundaries surrounding how we talk and treat each other.
I really think you are misunderstanding boundaries. The way I read it, boundaries are about drawing a circle around yourself. YOU get to choose what comes into that circle. You cant draw a boundary around her. It doesnt do anything and is simply controlling. And a boundary isnt about how you treat her. And it isnt a negotiation on how you will treat each other. Its about what YOU will allow inside your circle.
Furthermore, a leaky/weak boundary is worse than no boundary at all. It shows that you dont actually mean what you say. Saying that you wont accept disrespect and then standing there while she disrespects you undermines everything youve said.
Originally Posted By: mbe76
She told me yesterday that her OM is ready to support her and house her, so if this is the case then I am truly on a sticky wicket.
I spoke to her one last time and said that although she may be feeling it is too late it is not, and if she chooses to fight for our M then I am willing to work with her for the sake of what could be, not for what has happened in the past
This feels like a very bizarre thing to say. She just told you that shes ready to pick up and move to live with another man and youre falling over yourself to try to get her to pick you.
How is that attractive for her?
Originally Posted By: mbe76
I have accepted the fact I cannot control her and if she chooses it is done, then it is, I need to move on.
What do you mean 'done'?
And why are you giving her all of that power?
Originally Posted By: mbe76
Even though there is an OM and she says the PA is over the EA is definitely in full swing- and I don't believe what she says anyway.
If shes choosing to live with him....the PA isnt over.
