Why is this stuff so difficult? I was really fighting the urge to start a R talk this morning. We were having a good morning too. But why the urge to discuss the MR comes on so strong or what triggers it i don't understand.
It's human nature. DB'ing is hard because it is counter-intuitive- it goes against human nature. Every fiber of your being is telling you that to get her back you need to pursue. IE, lavish her with love, attention and gifts, tell her you love her and will never let her go. And that stuff works in a normal R where you've had a fight and need to make up. But dealing with a WAS is another thing entirely. A switch has flipped in them and they don't want to be married anymore. Usually the only reason they are hanging around at all is because of the kids, otherwise most of them would dust off just after BD. There is no "making up" with a WAS. You've got to let her go her way while you work on you. At some point down the road she may get to the point of starting a NEW relationship with you, but until then you've got to put your focus on you and your D.
So how do you DB when your body and brain tell you not to, well you just accept that it's not linear. I don't think anyone here did it without a blackslide here and there, usually a temp check. But all a temp check ever does is confirm that yes, the WAS is still done with the M. Every.... freakin.... time. So whenever you get the urge to temp check just ask yourself, how did the last dozen temp checks go? Because yeah, that's how it will go again. So ask yourself if you really want to kep subjecting yourself to that. It's an emotional beating, and you'll get tired of it eventually and quit doing it.
