This is getting so difficult. I spoke with her about the boundary of not criticising or disrespecting me in front of the children and I said that "while we are still married and living under the same roof as Husband and Wife I will not accept you criticising me or namecalling me or showing any other lack of respect in front of the children" she then said that I had been showing her a lack of respect for all of our marriage" basically getting angry at me.
To me, this sounds like a perfect time to validate.
"I can see how you would feel that way. I cant change the past, but I am working towards being more respectful to you."
Rather than escalating the discussion, how can you validate and de-escalate?
Originally Posted By: mbe76
She then said that "I am treating her like a POS and I can't go on like this"
Are you treating her like a POS? Why might she feel that way?
Originally Posted By: mbe76
I said that I am not criticising or showing you direspect now so I expect the same"
Can you see how this is different from what I wrote above?
If you disrespect her for however many years and then suddenly start behaving like a gentleman, how can you just put your foot down and demand respect back? Like...where is you acknowledging her frustrations?
