S turned 18 four days ago. Yesterday W gets called to school. S18 is being arrested at school for possession with intent to sell. He and a friend came to class reeking of pot, and the teacher called the cops. The car (MY car, that I let him use, that could have been impounded) reeked of pot from the outside, giving them justification to search the car. They found baggies, scales, bong, and enough pot to charge him with intent. Apparently he used his birthday money to buy a large amount (volume discount!) that he and his friends were going to split. They arrested him right in front of W. Handcuffs and all.
She got him out of the police station, took him to the car, and they drove home. I sent him a text saying "As badly as you have f'ed up, I just want to tell you that I still love you." He replied, and is very optimistic the charges will be dropped, or at least reduced significantly.
She called me about 6, and we talked about it for a little bit. 10 day suspension from school. She's worried, but at the same time, minimizing it. We agreed that he should still continue to get up and drive D16 to school. When she asked how I felt, I told her I didn't want him driving MY car anywhere except back and forth to school, or on any errands we want him to go on, but not over to his friends houses, the friends to whom he was going to sell the pot. She kind of gasped, and asked "so you're going to ground him until he goes to college in the fall?" in kind of a snooty voice. Unthinking, I replied, "Yes." That's not really what I meant, but before I could explain that I had no problems with his friends coming over and driving him places (after an appropriate period of grounding), I just don't want him taking my car, she said, "I just can't talk to you any more right now," and hung up.
We have different outlooks in how severe their punishments should be. In the end it always feels like it goes her way, because I feel like she won't enforce anything I say at her house.
