Thanks for your replies, now I need to focus the encouraging comments below, since I feel beaten - W confessed A today...
Especially liked these:
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The quicker that you communicate to her through actions that you love and value yourself are not gonna put up with this disrespectful BS, the quicker you will have a resolution in your situation.
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"I am Plan A, and not necessarily for you, W." She has to learn to miss you
I keep this short since feel quite exhausted but this is how it went in a nutshell - can give more details and thoughts once I´ve slept a bit (already late in Europe):
I gathered my evidence and was prepared. After our MC I said that I´ll give you a ride home. Then the convo (in short) was approx like this: Me: I suspect you have an affair W: (looking in the eye) No, I absolutely have not, how can you think that way Me: Unfortunately I have some evidence that forces me to do that conclusion W: Come on, I would never do anything like that I put the evidence on table: -Seems that she has not slept in "nesting" apt during her week (W denies) -Found the "toy bag" (W says she bought it for us) -Found camera with pics with other guy on campfire (W: met him accidentally at forest) -She left with two suitcases in the beginning of last week, came back with only one. (This was the pivotal evidence - she first lied that they are both at home, but since I checked the whole house in advance and they were not there, her story cracked. She admitted that bag was left to an OM, but of course first said that "nothing happened")
After short conversation I said, that only way for her to prove herself right is to show me her mobile phone. She did not and I said I take that as an evidence of A. Shortly after it came clear that all my evidence were correct and she really has spent many days/nights w OM. And I´m talking about my sweetheart who always were super truthful!
LH19, out of curiosity, what is the book you mentioned here (if ok to share)?
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One of the books I read talked about this phenomenon, how shocking it is for many LBH's when they snoop/ spy and find out that their W that hasn't wanted to have sex with them for years and were pretty plain-vanilla in bed even before that are suddenly behaving like they're trying out for a part in Fifty Shades.
When I got all info I needed, my W actually was very remorseful and said that meant nothing for her emotionally. Who knows what´s the truth.
I communicated my boundaries (can share them later if you want to know) and left. Let´s see how the situation develops in couple of days...
Experienced the worst feelings today, but after I got the assurance I also feel relieved. At least for me the worst is not knowing, might be different for others. I still feel numb, but I have a plan that I´m standing behind (hopefully have all the strenght).
I also want to convey my sympathy to all at this forum who have experienced the same - it really really really [censored]! Actually feels like a bad dream.
