Hi Steve. I just thought I would try to explain at least some of it. I think people, both men and women, tend to not put their best foot forward when they don't fear losing something. Marriages get too comfortable. You know? We are all guilty of that. If your boss mentioned as he passed by your desk, Hey don't be late next time please ok? and it happened 20 times in a month, would you be surprised if he fired you? You would not expect him to sit you down and explain you "officially" that he does not like you being late. Same in the our interpersonal relationships. Your friends don't sit you down and tell you exactly how they want to be treated by you, you just learn by observation and by listening to them - by being a good friend. If your friend is flaky and ignores your "hints" that you don't appreciate it, sooner or later you will drop that friend. Marriages are no different. When both men and women do not prioritize their partners wishes - marriages break down. Please, don't think that I think only men are guilty of that. I had to reevaluate my own past behavior as well. I am a better person for it. 14 year resume gap is petrifying. She is probably very anxious to even start looking because of it. Why don't you offer her help? Hire an interview coach, network for her. Have her back when she needs you without her asking for it? Take the lead. Trust me, if my husband would even try doing it for me, the sparks would be flying.
And I have not filed because, if I do it before I find a sustainable job - my husband would have to pay alimony and kids support. It would take 40% of his pay and he would struggle financially, because he is reckless financially, has debt and just swings his credit card anytime he wants something. So, like I said, I do want to move on but I don't want to put sticks in his wheels while doing it. I want to live independent of him. I don't want his money. I don't really want to go into details about my marriage and take your thread over. Let's just say - he does not deserve to eat his cake either.
