hello, GettinT... i am sorry about your situation... as a former Wayward Wife, one of the things i wish my H had done differently was confront me when he found out i was being unfaithful... he kept his knowledge to himself go too long... he had learned pretty early in the A, but said nothing... by the time he confronted me, i was fully in the affair... i was so attach emotionally, not to mention physically, i could not even imagine ending it... had he confronted me when he first knew, i would have been so ashamed, so regretful... however, my perspective comes from one who was in a marriage, and not at all separated at the time... your situation does seem different...
in general, i don't agree with the concept of pretending that you don't know... but hear me out on this: if you are going to confront her, you have do something to go along with revealing your knowledge... if you are not going to take some kind of stand once you let it out that you know, then you may as well say nothing--because then you are just going to look weak... pretending that you don't know, she probably does think you are weak, but doesn't think you know how weak she thinks you are... get it?
so if you are simply going to confront, and then go back to living like things are somewhat normal where you are putting up with it, then keep it to yourself for the time being...
