Bit of update of my thoughts. Actually had a bit bad conscience after talking quite roughly of my wife. I love this woman, but it just hurt´s so much to think she potentially has an affair... Where is this beautiful and innocent girl I married, I wonder. But reading other threads, I notice that this kind of behavior is actually paradigm of WW.
I was also thinking about confronting and what I actually win with that. She still is in the beginning of her WW journey, so I hardly think she would stop if she has A, rather just going more careful. And since I don´t have bullet proof evidence, she would deny everything anyways.
On the other hand, I have that much circumstantial evidence that I can quite certainly suspect an A. And this being case my personality wants to set some firm boundaries for our future - A needs to stop if we continue our MC and want to be in good terms for the kids. But big question is, how can I enforce that boundary - I cannot since she can lie. Further, I have seen many spouses taking more moderate approach and not confronting cheating spouse but rather taking steps back. Any advice, would you guys continue MC without confronting if you suspect an A?
I made this plan how could I get her to admit the potential A: Explaining all the little things I have found & seen (toys, parties, protecting phone) and say that I have a strong reason to suspect you are cheating on me. Are you? When W denies, I could say that only way she could prove me wrong is to let me check her phone. If she let´s and I don´t find evidence (have never even asked to check the phone before), I can maybe believe her excuses. If she refuses, I take that as confirmation of an A. How does that sound?
But to be honest, I still wouldn´t be 100% clear of the next steps. Is there any idea of continuing MC if she has an affair? What kind of boundaries I could set up not feeling/appearing like a doormat? After all, I still want to fix the situation if possible...
