What the turnoff is, is that this guy has admittedly done nothing to help himself.
This. That would be a problem for me. And if he was diagnosed pre-diabetic in the past and hasn't been seeing a doctor, he may well have diabetes now which can result in ED (So can heart disease.)
This may sound awfully selfish, but you're a young woman who has gone with very little sex for a long time in the prime of your life. I don't think it's inappropriate to want a partner who can share that with you. Especially since this guy doesn't really fit you in a lot of other ways too.
At my age (61) I expect this to be more of an issue with men I date. And if I met a guy who was great for me in all other respects and this was the only issue, I could live with it. But it'd be a lot to give up. (Luckily for me, none of my suitors has had this problem. ) And it surely would have been a deal-breaker for me at your age.
) And it surely would have been a deal-breaker for me at your age.