Not sure what to do. . .can anyone help?

[mbe76]

I read the reply after it happened- yes it was at home and she started shouting in front of the children. I said later that "While we are at home I need to feel that you won't criticise me or belittle me in front of the children, and if you do that I will have to leave the room"

Now this is because we are still under the same roof and she has yet to talk to me about what she wants for the future, she is still saying on the one hand that she wants to save the M but then on the other hand she then drags up the past by saying things like "You've shouted at me and disrespecting me for the last 8 years and I am meant to just forget it" to my shame I reacted and said she was "living in the past and if she continues to carry this resentment then that is your choice not mine"

The bottom line is, she says she wants the M to work but won't talk R, she is due to go to counselling this week- but I am not sure if she will- The OM she had an A with is still friends on FB with her- and I know the don't believe what she says and half of what she does etc. but if she tells me, how do I respond to that?

I feel like I am being strung along until *she* decides what to do- but I can't go on like this- when I began 180's she accused me of not trying to make the M work and accused me of being cold, and I responded that "You told me you don't love me or even know me anymore and until I see that you are willing to work on the R I don't know how you want me to talk to you or treat you" and she said "Well being like you are and looking down your nose at me certainly isn't going to work"

She is still breastfeeding our youngest, and we are still sharing the same bed.

Yesterday evening she again started shouting at me after I told her that she needed to stop criticising me in front of the children, and then she started shouting, so I began to walk away to leave the house and she screamed "what are you abandoning your kids again?" I said no, and that I would take the children with me to my mums and they can sleep their she then lost it and threatened to call the police, I said I would never "take the children away but it is not fair that they have to listen to you shouting at me in front of them" things calmed down then and I went out later in the evening.

I am so lost right now, I don't know if I am coming or going. Stuck in the house without any real options- if I leave that will count against me if we do head down the D route. My only other option is to get a single bed and sleep in the spare room downstairs, as she is breastfeeding and needs to be close the baby.

I know many of you will think I am being weak, but I honestly don't know what to do