There’s something I want to buy for myself. It's not like a car or a boat or anything but it’s still way more than I have ever spent on myself for anything. I don’t buy it because I am afraid that maybe it’s just vain or I am trying to make myself happy with something material and it actually won’t make me happy at all. I come from pretty humble material roots so I have always been uncomfortable spending much on myself or displays of wealth despite the fact that I make a lot of money. I think of it as self indulgent and that the money could be spent on something else. Or that maybe it is un-Christian and contrary to my own values.
So your fear is filled with guilt..
Start there...
WHY ?
Why would you feel guilty over buying that blow up sex doll err...your purchase ??
You work hard to provide for your family....yes ??
You have worked hard in order to enjoy life....yes ???
Why would you feel guilty when you reward your hard work ???
Do you think that your marriage will be either made or broken because of this purchase ???
Why do you feel that happiness is tied to things ???
Originally Posted By: Gordie
Exquisitetobeme,
You are right. I haven’t done those things. But as Mach says, I do have plenty of regrets and self knowledge of what i could have done better as a H. My w has been in crisis for a while and I just kept on as if everything was a-okay. The post that MWD has on where were you when I needed you? I think that describes some of the dynamic between w and me. My initial reaction to her MLC was to either ignore it or convey—what the heck is wrong with you? I didn’t take the time to listen and “be there” for her...and then she went looking elsewhere for an OM who would listen to her.
Regrets...
Failures...
Those things only take away the power that YOU give them...
Could you have done better ??
I am sure that you could have, the same as most of us here..
But allowing HER to be YOUR judge, jury, and executioner is pretty extreme...
