LBS - MLC H who's an alcoholic

[WWHWU]

Hello Bttrfly and Peacetoday,

Thank you both for your kind responses.

It’s been a trying few days. On Friday it was our official 16 year anniversary and it came and went with no words. He stays in my flat on the weekends to be with our daughter...at least he’s been reliable in that for the last 3 weeks. Prior to that hit and miss, but when I sent him notes from the school counsellor about what she talked about in the session: “Distraught and very sad that he chose to move so far away, etc.,” that’s when he decided to buck up and come regularly. Only problem is, then I have to see him too and it’s causing anxiety. So, this time I went away to the countryside to visit some dear friends.

When I returned today he asked if we could talk. Said that our D was worried about me. Said I tune into Too much inspirational videos and music, meditation, etc. What? How does one expect to heal from what I’ve just been through? Or is this more of the mind games he plays with me? I noticed she was short with her responses when I asked her about her week end.

It’s downright amazing how he can deny he’s an alcoholic and claim that he only binged because he was hen pecked by me. He said now that he’s happy he can drink socially without over indulging. I don’t really believe that. He used to tell me that he could control it too...until he couldn’t.

I told him that he sure is going through a lot of trouble with all of the other changes in his life to avoid getting sober. He said that it was my controlling that drove him away. I told him that yes I did do that but it was my way of trying to hold on to our dying relationship..

No, I know it’s not my fault. I just wish I had read the warning signs way back when...

I have found a sponsor in Al Anon and have gotten her commitment today. Yeah!

She’s pretty tough, though, requires 3 meetings a week to start! (1 can be online though) That’s my Sat and Sun booking up quick because the rest of the week I’m single mom now.

Things are progressing with meditation and will be slowly but surely getting a Divorce. I’d love to stand and fight for this marriage but I just can’t see a light. Think it would take a miracle and I’ve even stopped praying for that.

I am working on myself despite any flack I get.

Thank you again for wise advise!