I don't want a divorce

[KitCat]

I see this.

Friday was great. He had been up 24hr to be able to have the day with me and I wasn't walking on eggshells but on air.

He passed out that night and I climbed in bed a couple of hrs later. He stretched out his arm and cuddled me most the n igbt which hasn't happened in forever.

Now, I'm not stupid. That was his subconscious act. If I were to say to him the next morning I appreciated his arms around me he would have denied it. He was exhausted and did what happens naturally.

This phenomenon happened 4 weeks ago. I came home and he has been up again for 24hr. I stepped in to where he fell asleep in his chair to wake him and ask if he was having dinner with us. He said yes and I turned to walk away. He said hey come back so I did. He pulled me to hug me. He said I looked good and that he loved me. I pulled back and said - you do? He said yes. I told him I loved him too. The man had not told me that in a year. I go to make dinner. When it's done I return to wake him again as he drifted off. No memory of what he just said to me 20min earlier. He just only said he had a weird dream.

So I knew that H holding me was just exhaustion and not where he is at.

But, you are right. I am not detaching well. I need a kick in the pants and to move forward. Today when I get him I will NOT pursue him.

If he comes to me to ask questions of me I will say that I was giving him space and that's it.





So was good... I did not pursue him after I returned home today. Be showed no interest and continued to do his own thing.

He did 1 load of dishes and I said thank you. Be cleaned up after himself after making a mess in the kitchen.

After he left for work I noticed he made the bed. I can't remember the last time he made the bed...

I texted him thank you for making the bed. I don't expect a response but I felt I should acknowledged his effort.

I know the rules say I'm not to text H. I hope this was not a big boo boo... I'm really trying to do the right move and not chase H.