Gordie #17: deliberately not divorced

[Gordie]

Mach and Ginger,

Let’s start small.

There’s something I want to buy for myself. It's not like a car or a boat or anything but it’s still way more than I have ever spent on myself for anything. I don’t buy it because I am afraid that maybe it’s just vain or I am trying to make myself happy with something material and it actually won’t make me happy at all. I come from pretty humble material roots so I have always been uncomfortable spending much on myself or displays of wealth despite the fact that I make a lot of money. I think of it as self indulgent and that the money could be spent on something else. Or that maybe it is un-Christian and contrary to my own values.

Exquisitetobeme,

You are right. I haven’t done those things. But as Mach says, I do have plenty of regrets and self knowledge of what i could have done better as a H. My w has been in crisis for a while and I just kept on as if everything was a-okay. The post that MWD has on where were you when I needed you? I think that describes some of the dynamic between w and me. My initial reaction to her MLC was to either ignore it or convey—what the heck is wrong with you? I didn’t take the time to listen and “be there” for her...and then she went looking elsewhere for an OM who would listen to her.