Meg - I had the exact same conversation with my husband.
I started to show him that I did care and return to the affectionate woman he married but it became smothering and he said as such and pushed him further away.
He said he wasn't feeling appreciated but I asked how can I show appreciation where you don't feel smothered? And, if I leave you alone and give you space won't you feel further unappreciated?
He said he didn't know the answer. Which I believe is true.
I think our spouses are struggling with what they really want. The grass looks greener but they aren't really sure. Their heads are probably all over the place.
Where it gets complicated is that they spit out bits and pieces that they are ruminating in their heads. Those bits confuse us even further because they are just a piece of a thought. We are wondering what does that MEAN? I have to remind myself it really means nothing. It really means that he is still on the fence.
Its easy to get your hopes up with a simple phrase but then a mere 8hr later be dealing with a spouse that has retreated again.
My dearest friend tells me - that the sun will rise tomorrow and if it doesn't then we have bigger problems. Hugs!
