So I am totally failing at detaching this week. I myself haven't initiated any R talks with H, but as soon as he makes even the smallest comment about our sitch, I take the bait.

After Wednesday's fiasco (see my last few posts), Thursday was all quiet, until last night.

H has been sleeping in the house all week due to temperature drop in our area (his hunting trailer is from 1970, pretty much no insulation). Anyway, all week I have already been in bed when he gets home, and asleep by the time he comes to bed. Not so last night. We both climbed into bed at the same time, I went to go to sleep. After a few minutes he gets up to gather his things to head out to the trailer. I commented on it, he said why should I sleep inside? Because it's warm (it was snowing outside at the time, a rareity for our town). He said I told you the other day that I want sex, but you don't get it.

At this point the discussion proceeds that once again, I am not initiating, showing affection. He said he's moving out next week, he thought I would be taking this opportunity. I stopped him and said our sitch is different right now, it's harder for me to read his body language, so how do I know when he wants sex? He needs to give a signal. He did agree, apologized, but proceeded to stand there while I cried. Then he said that he feels the more we have these talks the more unfixable our R feels. I told him I don't feel the same. I said I know this will never be the same, but different and better if we work.

He went out to his trailer and sent me a text that he stood there waiting for me to invite him to stay, that inviting is different that me stating I don't want him to go out to trailer.
I responded that I don't want him out there, that I don't want him to move out. He said he had to move out. I asked him to come back inside, he did.

H is still testing me. I told him he has to stop testing me, it's not fair. I told him it [censored] that when I was pursuing, trying to make quick changes, it pushed him away, and me pulling back is also pushing him away. He said that he will probably find fault with everything I do right now, one way or the other.

How do I stop myself from getting sucked into the discussion? Especially without making him think that I am done and no longer want the marriage?