Didn't help that I had a head bash and a very bad chest infection. I feel sometimes unable to hold it together.
Life is dull and in black and white.
Small things which never bothered me now do so. I ceased my intense exercise regime because of the chest infection and am struggling to get it going again. I lose weight very slowly, it's an ongoing battle. I also need to do a great deal of exercise and eat very little. It's the way I am made.
I feel like I aM constantly struggling financially too. The courts awarded the G a big chunk of change and it's a struggle to pay it. Sometimes I cut back on food and heat. The boiler broke and I couldn't afford the repair but a kind client temporarily resolved it for me so at least I can have heating every third day.
I am tired, very tired and weary and so looking forward to sunny days.
Still each day is a blessing. Last December I prepaid my gym for 12 months so there is a good lounge and showers here. Oh and heat.
College is a mixed bag, I have passed every exam but I always think I have failed them.......
I do feel unmotivated and lack joy of life. But I get by. I guess this is what loss does for us.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
