So updates since the last time I was on here. I retained an attorney and divorced her. It was not what I wanted to do but seemed like the only way that I was going to get custody rights.
At the moment, while she is working the kids are staying with me on her weeks. So not much has changed. Well not true, she openly started dating her boss. Which truly confirmed what I had believed.
Earlier this month I had a mental breakdown and had to be admitted for MDD, so on Lexapro now. Turns out I actually don't have a drinking problem. Enlightening to know that I have been dealing with depression for years it seems. Funny how those things work out.
So right now I feel sad but it isn't the overwhelming sadness like before. See I still love her a great deal. Right now the kids are with me 90% of the time, even on her scheduled weeks. I am keeping a log of it though.
Someone is going to ask what I do for me. So to head it off, I take the kids on road trips, go to church and started being more involved with a local re-enactment group. Still looking for a full time therapist. Other than that work, clean the house and take care of the children.
Right now I am not sure I should be helping her watch the children during her custody weeks. I know if she loses her job it is bad for the children. By the same token it really isn't my problem. Also I don't like how she keeps getting mad at me over nothing. For instance I asked her when she got off if I was cooking dinner for the kids or not. Some how it was taken as I was accusing her, I don't have the right to talk to her that way. I kept calm and told her I was accusing her of anything. Which then when into I need to respect how much she is sacrificing for her children.
Honestly, I wonder why I bother we are divorced now. Personally, I would love to move on with my life but with the week on week off custody arrangement it is hard. Since we always have to be in contact.
