WAW, is there hope?

[KGuy]

Well, its been awhile, but i was drawn back here as no one else seems to support my fight for the M. They say just let her go she isn't worth it and that she took advantage of me. The MC/IC said i deserved better. Perhaps they are right, but i still feel the M commitment even now. Though reading other people's sitches this time makes me think mine won't turn out so good now that we are divorced.

Basically, we were divorced last October. The W got her house sold just after the divorce, and then the (X)MIL house next door on the market and sold before Christmas. She then combined those assets and probably took out a relatively small loan and got a house worth double what the house we bought together costs. When i had asked wht would keep us together before everything hit the fan, she said she wanted a bigger house, so now she has it.

My philosophy on housing frugality was confirmed though, as i got laid off end of this past year. Because of my conservative housing thinking, I think i may be okay since i had focused on paying off properties i had. I have options and am so glad that i didn't give in to committing to buying that big house she wanted.

My Dad is getting to where he needs help. Just last week, he fell fracturing three ribs and banging his head. I'm now considering moving in with him to keep an eye on him. Will need to consolidate my properties though, although he has offered help on the last remaining mortgage i have (i'd inherit the money anyway apparently as he isn't spending his nest egg). I feel bad about that though as i would rather be independent of him. He tells me that what family is for and i can see his point i guess.

I've started a company and will run things through that if i do get employment. I have some other ideas for the company to make rent as well, so that about to take flight as i now have the articles and paperwork to start it up. I can set my salary as well, thus the child support amount.

I had tried for 50/50, but in my state, that is only done if the two parties agree. She didn't want it, i think mainly because she was counting on the child support. I negotiated that down quite a bit and got an extended SPO, so i have almost half the waking time with the kids. Another reason to make a living through my own company. Since i was laid off, i have filed with the Attorney General to reduce my child support.

Shortly after she got the new house, she began dating someone who was in one of those classes she was taking while we were married. So, i have to say that tthe instinct of those on here was right even though i thought the best of her. Best case is that she had an EA or IA with him while we were married and he was the greener grass when our M fell apart. The MC/IC says these things generally don't work out, but i wonder. Kinda hits me hard knowing this, but i have to move on.

The interchanges are now less frequent since she arranged a daycare where i can pick up and drop off without any interaction with her. Helps me go dark for sure. I only have one evening where i drop off that i have to interact. She is still being petty on the clothing issue and will take that interchange as an opportunity to bring up any disagreements unresolved (mainly because i ignore now so as to not engage in that behavior) by email. I've told her i will not argue in front of the kids and requested that she not bring up such issues in front of them,

As far as moving on, my GAL hasn't really been as good as i'd like. I have spent more time with my Dad, which i am grateful for. I have a lot of time with the kids, which is also wonderful. That time is a little in the way of some of the GAL events i had been eyeing, but i think my priorities are in order for now at least. Still, i have added some GAL events by volunteering at the church my Dad and I go to. I am now going to another DivorceCare class which is better than the previous one i took since they split the men and women into two separate groups. No offense to the women on here because you are fighting for your M, but I got frustrated with the women in the previous class (with a couple exceptions) had all kinds of "irreconcilable" excuses as to why they were ending (or thinking of ending) their Ms. It was kinda funny, because the class teaches via the video that you should save your marriage at all costs and the only exceptions were endings that were not biblical (an A would be one though). I must ay that i admire each of you on here for fighting for your Ms even though there are plenty of excuses not to fight for the Ms. That why i came back i guess, hard to find that elsewhere.

Getting back to the house thing, I'd like to ask advice of what you guys think. I was awarded the house the W and I bought together. Its the house both the 4 & 2 y/os were born in, although the 4 y/o will have more memories. How important do you guys think it is for me to keep this house (and the stability it represents) for the kids? For me, it a reminder of the M, but i have gotten past that thinking that it was important to them that there is at least some stability in their lives.

For all of those who posted in here before, i thank you for your input. One of the things I need to work on myself is being more appreciative .