I don't want a divorce

[Deckard]

At one point when I was leaving H said fine... no one in this house likes each other. I said I like you. He said my actions don't show it.

How don't my actions show it? He wouldn't be specific.

Did you try anything like "H, I heard you about wanting to be alone and I'm doing what I can to give that to you. I have things to do and I thought this would be an opportunity, however small, to give you the time and space to do what you need to do." and end the discussion by leaving.




KitCat, I also think you missed what I was saying on the 'rambles' piece. It wasn't about the guns or understanding. It was about the way you talk to and about your H that I was trying to understand. I think your H lives for the hunting/outdoors stuff. Maybe you used that because you are on an anonymous board, or maybe that is the way you describe his passions to other.

The reason I brought it up is because being here is about being the best you that you can be. Do you see how minimizing that to H or others might be something you need to work on?

And let me say that based on your posts, there is a lot H needs to work on. For example, in your first post you wrote that H said he can't love himself so how can he love you? Wow. Lots to work on. But you can't control H to make him work on himself and he isn't here and we can't help H either. He needs to want to work on himself.

But you are here. So this is about you being the best you. And maybe I'm nitpicking on one word. Only you know how you talk to and about H.