Its clear that my husband is definitely better at detaching than I am. That's where he is at right now. In his words - he is burnt out.
As you posted on my thread, I do see quite a few similarities in both of our sitch. We have been married 22 years, 4 kids, H says I "shut him out" after the birth of our first, and after so many years of "fighting" for the girl he married to come back, he had to shut of his emotions to stop hurting.
The more I reflect and look into myself, I don't think I changed quite as much as he thinks. I think he just wasn't expecting my attention to be divided. I could just be grasping.
But I understand how hard it is to detach. I do ok, especially with texting, I don't text him at all during the day, unless to respond to him (which, if it's MR- related, I shouldn't take the bait, but I do). I don't talk to him much at home, I don't ask where he's going or where he's been. But boy, went I made plans with a girlfriend the other day, he was mighty curious. I just gave him breadcrumbs. I know I still have a lot of work to do though. And it will get easier to detach when H moves out next week, as much as I don't want it, it will make GAL easier.
Hang in there, you can do it. If you're home at the same time, be in a separate room from him, if that makes it easier to detach. You got this.
