Interesting assessment, Coconut. I did write the no dating thing almost a year ago, and that was a reaction. I worked through that with my IC. She felt that was kind of nuts, and it was. Maybe if my daughter were 15..... well, then I would wait. I did decide that I will much more careful about having a guy come into D's life. Nothing is guaranteed, but I want to be standing on the best foot when that happens. I did stop dating for a while, about 6 months. I had one date. So, yes, there was about 9 months in between no more dating to "going fast", it was not one extreme to another.
As far as my "wasn't feeling it" it was me realizing I need to know him more. The whole V-day thing was more of 1) my time of the month 2) him going dark out of no where 3) the sleepover isn't planned sex. It was an offer that I didn't even commit to.
During my time of the month, I am admittedly an emotional mess. When I am actually in an R at my time of my month, I noticed the pattern of when that's when I become insecure, I think the person is acting strange and distant, and then I say "oh, my period must me coming" and boom, that's it, so I make sure I don't act on any of my crazy thoughts. Once that passed I was back down to earth again. And I am chill with whatever happens. I really, truly, am. As far as I am concerned right now, I have a date tomorrow night and I am going to kick his butt in mini golf so he has to wear a NJ Devils Jersey. I am also having some good Mexican food with some good company.
And...... there is more to my life right now than this guy. I am still sick of this awful job, and I went back online and did the search again. I found a position that really spiked my interest. A radiation Oncology Nurse. It's at the hospital in my system right by my house and it's the same hours and seems so interesting. It would get me involved with patient's again without shift work. I put in for a transfer application. I am keeping my fingers crossed. If it's meant to be, it will find me.
