Spring Cleaning

[Dawn70]

I'm so tickled for you, G! Sounds like some good things going on with this new guy. I don't know that the gift of the hat is necessarily a red flag, though, the way my mind works, I would be wondering what, if anything, he expected in return. People have mentioned love languages on here before and I know one of the LL is receiving gifts, but for me, I love to GIVE gifts, so something like finding and giving the hat would just be a gesture to let someone know that I liked them and was thinking of their interest. I don't know if any of that makes sense but I don't necessarily see the gift of the cap as being some big red flag, though I don't think you do either, so that might be a moot point.

I used to have this idea/thought in my head that I had to wait a certain number of dates before having sex, but in my old(er) age, I'm realizing that FOR ME, I feel better if I just go with it when it feels right. That may be a few dates in and it may be the first date. I'm not saying it has to be that way for everyone and though it sounds like it, I'm not even necessarily disagreeing with what Don said about sex too early can muddy the waters (paraphrasing what he said, obviously), but I have just decided that I have to do what feels right for me in the moment. Not saying that is how everyone should approach everything because obviously we are all different people with different thoughts/feelings/beliefs. I just know what works for me and what doesn't work for me and being on a strict "must wait 3 dates" policy isn't necessarily all that helpful to me because men are all different. In my thoughts, it also kind of helps see what the intentions are. If it is someone who is just looking for more of a FWB thing, sex gets pushed a lot faster than someone who might be interested in actually knowing me as a person and seeing what develops. Sorry I'm hijacking your post talking about me....I seem to have a knack for doing that....but I'm just trying to share thoughts/insights I have gained in my divorced years that I might not necessarily have had pre-marriage and divorce. I think we all know what the right time for us is and we are all on different time lines, so what works for me may or may not work for anyone else.

So glad you are looking forward to your upcoming dates. Can't wait to hear all about them!