Hopping now, and going to bed soon-- want to go together with her when she goes, tonight, and we're both tired after two short nights' sleep-- so quick update for now, more later.
Cautiously optimistic about MC. W went through with IC (We both acvtually did 1 hour of IC) and says she will do more... in fact, MC wants us each to do NOTHING but IC for next 2-3 sessions for each of us. Says what we are doing as far as MC on our own is what she wants to be seeing, and we are talking and opening up more, so for now she wants to work with us on trying to break down some of the "individual" barriers and issues we each have... Assigned us some touching exercises, a good bit of talk about how in our sitch it IS going to feel awkward, and the exercises are a good way of both breaking the ice AND of "getting the awkwardness out" or "containing" it to the more deliberate setting, which, by comparison, will make the more natural, spur of the moment touching (which i am not holding back on) seem more natural... and i think i kind of followed that.
Talked alot about W's "good girl/ bad girl" dichotomy, the pressure she puts on herself and her considering herself a bad person, and about my trust issues (and it turns out i actually have some organic trust issues and vulnerabilities that i need to work around)-- this was explored more in depth in my IC.
Also, assurances from the MC that "we are still not really all that far into this"-- a little over six months since the "A" ended, and that "it could take a while" for my W.
Also, MC asked me a lot in IC about "what i would be willing to live with" in terms of W's continued relationship with bff... and what I would be willing to "not know" about the A and still be willing to reconcile.
Much more, will try to get to in next couple of days.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
