Then H sent me some texts on my way to work, one was a video that just has me crazy, it's a Christian music video. Then he says "I know this may be hard to believe and understand, but I do love you and no matter how this ends I will love you to my last dying day. You will always be in my hear and mind, my very best friend. I don't know what hurts me (him) most, to know that you're (me) hurting or to know that I'm the one that's causing it."
My response, "we both had share in getting here. My hope is that you find peace in yourself. The pain is incredible, yes, I just go one day at a time."
Why is he doing this? I haven't tried to have any R talks in a week now, just been doing my thing. It's like he doesn't want me to detach.
it could be any number of reasons... whenever i had broken off past relationships (before marriage) i was sad... felt bad and even felt love for the person i was letting go... your husband may really be feeling those feelings right now... you cannot get sucked up into it... those feelings are his to deal with--however he may... you have to focus on you... in the words as sung by Gladys Knight and the Pips in I've Got to Use My Imagination, you've got to: "keep on keepin' on"...
here are some of the lyrics:
I've really got to use My imagination To think of good reasons To keep on keepin' on (Keep on keepin' on)
Got to make the best of (Best of, best of) A bad situation (Bad situation) Ever since that day (Ever since that day) I woke up and found That you were gone (Gone, gone)
so yes... keep on keepin' on... you won't detach by sheer will... Getting a Life will get you there... use this time for growth... don't let one second of it be wasted in just staying the same Meg... keep the good parts of you, grow the tired parts of you, learn new parts about you... not to be a new Meg, or a better Meg, but to be THIS Meg... an experienced Meg... wiser Meg... living life to the Nth degree Meg... fresh, exciting!
