Artista, I hear you. I am totally not doing well with detaching. I like to think I am, but I'm not. The only thing I seem to be doing ok with is not INITIATING R talks. H kind of initatiated one this morning.
H called me while I was getting ready for work, asked if I had a minute to talk. He said he had a question for me, and to answer truthfully (as if I do anything else, since I have nothing to lose), and my answer would determine how he acts/treats me going forward. He asked why his friends were calling him and asking why I am sending them friend requests on Facebook, since I have never cared to before. I told him that I sent 2 friend requests to people a few weeks ago, that came up as "people you might know". He said it feels like I'm checking up on him. I told him first of all, I am staying off Facebook for a while, for my own mental health (I even deleted it from my phone), and the requests were sent because I know those people too. I said I can't check up on you, it's too much for me. He then apologized.
Then H sent me some texts on my way to work, one was a video that just has me crazy, it's a Christian music video. Then he says "I know this may be hard to believe and understand, but I do love you and no matter how this ends I will love you to my last dying day. You will always be in my hear and mind, my very best friend. I don't know what hurts me (him) most, to know that you're (me) hurting or to know that I'm the one that's causing it."
My response, "we both had share in getting here. My hope is that you find peace in yourself. The pain is incredible, yes, I just go one day at a time."
Why is he doing this? I haven't tried to have any R talks in a week now, just been doing my thing. It's like he doesn't want me to detach.
